The Kindness Prescription

                                       April 2019

Going "viral" is probably the phenomenon of this century and what is very interesting is that videos about kindness are very often the most popular. Whether it is kindness towards another human or animal, it gives us this warm and fuzzy feeling inside. As if there is still hope and good in this world. We think less about the negative news and our belief in the human goodness is restored for some moments at least. 

Kindness is "the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate." (Google)

I doubt there is anyone in this world who has not experienced this emotional state.

Anything opposite of this feels mean, coldhearted and inhumane. Wow! 

It's important to take this in. 

I assure you I have a point. 

So this is a no-brainer then, let us all be kind to one another and all that. This is something that has been talked about for ages. There is scientific evidence about the positive effects of kindness on just about everything one can think of.. family, society, our health, our social success etc. etc. 

I remember distinctly, about 5 - 6 years ago, when I heard a patient, a very nice lady in her 60s, feeling sad and disappointed in her legs, as they were weak and she was unable to walk. 

She went on to tell me how she hurts everywhere all the time and cannot do anything she likes. She even called her legs a "bad name". That kinda jolted me. It did not feel okay. 

I tried my best to suggest to her, in the most serious-sounding doctor-like way, to be kind to herself and her body. 

I don't know if that even registered with her, as I was myself so unsure of what I was telling her. 

That led me to notice this more. So, when I hear my patient or friend and sometimes, even myself, say unkind and mean things to our bodies, I have wondered for years if we are overlooking something in our own healing. 

Kindness is being human and then why it is so hard to direct this to our own selves. 

Oh, I know.. this is about "being selfish!"

Feelings of guilt and shame are closely associated to all these words - selfish, self-centered, self-absorbed, you all know what I am talking about. It's like the moment, you direct your attention to your own self, you can almost feel a finger directly being pointed at you.. as if in front of the whole world. 

Shaming you for thinking of your own self. 

Yeah, pretty intense.. Phew!

Somehow, thinking for your self in a cold, matter-of-fact way is okay, but anything nurturing is almost seen as a deviant trait. 

I know I am not the first one to feel this.

We recognize Body-Shaming as being harmful.

Even in medicine, we have a term for the extreme cases - Body Dysmorphic Disorders.

While I am glad that there is at least some awareness about harmful effects of self negative talk/thoughts in our times, I still cannot ignore the micro-aggressions we commit on ourselves way too frequently.

Self-compassion may make us feel more worthy, somehow, as we get focused on our goals of life, and achieving this and that, we start to "use" our body as a vehicle - more or less. 

What I write next I do at risk of sounding "silly" or "too simple".

I do this also with the most compassion.

Please find a moment today and speak to your own body..

if your head hurts, send love and thanks to your head,

and the same for your leg that may be swollen,

your heart, if you have a diagnosis of heart disease, heart failure.

your kidneys, if you have kidney problems,

your skin, your hair, your eyes..

Our bodies need our love, kindness and thanks, not our disappointment, resentment and shame.

I give you all,

The Kindness Prescription.

Free, Unlimited Refills. 

Dr. Jas Bhullar