Patient Compliance - Blame Game?

Jan 2019

The buck stops here! No matter how much knowledge and expertise we acquire with more advanced degrees, courses and training, application is limited by human behavior. How can one inspire another human to modify their behavior? How can we persuade others to follow our advice? How can we make it seem like the best idea etc. etc. ?

After being through years of meeting so many humans and discussing their health and suffering, I thought I had a good skill in this area. I was following all the general known methods to enhance compliance:
- have empathy
- explain the condition and treatment plans in plain English and being less technical.
- assessing understanding of the plan
- write the plan down to help remember.
- ask family members to accompany the patient to enhance understanding and support for the patient.
and so on.

I was in my bliss zone of "doing-my-best" indeed.
All this changed, one fine day!

Of course, this didn't take one moment or day for me to understand, it was perhaps several moments over a period of time in my life when I was on the receiving end of advice. I began to notice how much I disliked receiving advice. In fact, I was zoning out whenever I was in that space! Something in me just rejected it. Even when logically I was the one seeking it most of the time.

This disturbed me. I felt worse after receiving advice and I knew every advisor meant well. And there was absolutely nothing in the advice which was hurtful or negative towards me.

What dawned on me one day is that I felt as though the advice is implying that "I don't know what's best for me." This notion undermined me and left me feeling disempowered.

This realization had me question my own skills in advising my patients, friends, family. I couldn't help but wonder if I am disempowering them as well (unknowingly of course)? I was horrified!

I had to step back and really own up to the fact that even when I may have all knowledge, experience and good intentions, it is really not enough. I felt I am just another - "know-it-all"! and I hated to feel that way.

Lately, for about a year or so, I have been asking patients what is their opinion about a certain plan, if this makes sense in their life. And also telling them how I am here to give them information and they are the ones who know best how this would implement in their lives.
I felt that, as an advisor it was perhaps most important to acknowledge the person and their own "light" and also by that act alone I was "reminding" them of their light as well.

Mind over matter is not just an esoteric concept, several scientific studies have proven this phenomenon. It is also a more responsible path in life. No blame game here!

I have started to follow a different format in my work and personal life when engaging in advice giving:
- asking if they are interested in my perspective
- asking them of their perspective about the problem at hand "to learn" their side of the picture.
- reminding them that no matter what I state, it is ultimately "their own will" which make most difference in their own lives.

Professionally, I have taken on the role of the one who:
- gives information
- empowers rather than "talk-down".
- supporting the mindset that "we all know ourselves best".

My hope is that we all remember that whether we are advising our children or family, friends or patients, we are also entrusted to show them their own light and by doing so we empower them.

Patient compliance is at the end of the day dependent on the quality of our connection with our patients as well.